When You Feel Down.. And You Are Wearing A Frown.. [Update]

Update: Ew. I didn’t expect it to sound like I’m an irresponsible, pat-backside and go home kinda person. The whole if-nobody-dies philosophy is only adopted as the lastest resort of self-preservation. To keep sane.

Things has been going ill for Love recently. :-( Being in fire-fighting companies for the bigger part of my working life.. I’m still not sure if I have a good way to "deal with it". (Btw, just to clarify, I’m not fire-fighting these days)

I’ve been totally swamped before, worked 72-hours straight (powered by expresso double shots) and at many times questioned and doubted myself. No, this isn’t (and I hope it won’t be taken as) a I’ve-had-worse trophy talk. I remember asking myself, "Or is the problem.. really just me?" "I’m perhaps not as capable as I’d thought" "perhaps I’m simply.. inefficient". Boy, those were dark days.

When you question yourself like that, you’ll really lose your ability to accomplish things - a self-fulfilling prophecy.. and thus bleak days will only turn bleaker.

Its only when I totally give up, detach myself - "hey, I don’t own this stinkin’ place" "if things goes wrong,.. at least nobody dies" - then does light appear. Mood lightens.. but sadly, it often means leaving the company. So, if you’re a boss and you see that a previously chao-bin employee starting to be smiling more - he’s leaving, and trust me a pay rise won’t help.

So I guess my only advise is, if nobody will die.. just let the things go wrong. Its perhaps the most effective way of explaining something to others, both to people above and below. And you’ll sometimes be surprised at how you’ve over-estimated the actual impact of things going wrong without your intervention.

So, keep yer chin up. You’ve still got me.